Thursday, June 12, 2008

Marriage and Crab Cakes

Good grief, where do I begin?

Hmm, well, I'm married!??!!

Now you may be wondering why I am blogging on my honeymoon. Yes. That's a good question.

So, how are things? Personally, I can't complain. It's weird being married, though. All the glamor and hoopla of the wedding completely mask the nakedness and [if I may be so frank] grossness that is a married man and woman. I've been working for the last 3 years to hide certain yucky facts about myself [like I spit when I brush my teeth and my **** doesn't smell like roses]. It's all over now. He knows.

But it's cool. Human beings are gross. Regardless of what Hollywood wants you to think. I've accepted it and you can too. Lord knows he has. He's been gross this whole time just waiting for me to catch up.

Saint Simons has been fun. Full of laughter [and some tears], great southern food [and horrible water], an amazing walk along the beach [and an accidental trip to Florida [which of course led to more tears], a huge gross jelly fish [and a terrifying sting ray [which, as it turns out, was probably dead], and extremely kind country beach folk.


I decided to develop a country accent. Jermaine said I sounded like Reese Witherspoon and demanded I sing "Times' a wastin'." That was weird.

I've also decided that because I fit into girls size 14/16 I'm going to start buying matching clothes for my daughter, Sadie and I. You don't get it. That's okay. She gets it.

When I get home I'll write a big long blog all about the wedding. I don't have it in me right now. I hope that's okay. Thank you [as always] for tuning in. You make me so happy.

3 comments:

Andrea said...

Gosh I love you and for you sanity, no one's **** smells like roses. You're so freaking funny!

Jess said...

I think you should definitely dress in matching clothes with Sadie while you can. She won't find it so amusing in a few years. :)

I can't believe you're married!

Anonymous said...

I know Jermaine personally, and happen to know for a fact that his **** smells like pecan pie. Can't speak for Brandy, tho.