Lazy Saturday Blog

"I write to find out what I'm thinking about." - Edward Albee

I've kept a quote book since I was about 14 or 15. I don't really add much to it anymore. It contains mostly phrases that struck me hard when I a sweet [and silly], naive teenage girl. Quotes like:

"I shall have more to say when I am dead." - Edwin Arlington Robinson from the poem "John Brown"

"The more particular, the more specific you are, the more universal you are." - Nancy Hale

"I don't want to be normal like you." - Everclear

"Violence s something only for people who have run out of good ideas." - Doug in Doug: The Movie

These were the words that shaped my formative years. Wait . . . are your teenage years the "formative" years? Well, whatever. You know what I mean.

That first quote has always rang so true for me. Like today. I have no idea what this blog is going to be about [even though I'm halfway through]. I just started it to see what was going to happen.

It's been a long time. I never blogged about the wedding. I'm sorry. It was simply fabulous. If you weren't there you missed something amazing. If you were there you are probably a little bit ticked at me right now because I have yet to write one thank you card.

All in good time. All in good time.

I'm feeling very speculative today. I was just reading Ending Slavery by Kevin Bales, so that may be why. I read and I think, what can I do? I want to do something! I'm not a teacher. I'm not a doctor or a nurse. I'm not a psychologist. I'm not a lawyer. I am certainly not a musician. These professions are so needed in the abolitionist movement and I am not gifted in any of these areas. What the flip can I do?

Today it hit me. In a still small whisper like a ton of bricks, "A voice." I'm a voice.

I guess I've known this for quite some time. Perhaps it seems like I'm all over the board. I certainly want to be and do a lot of things. But I am clear in my gifts. I'm a writer, a reader, a speaker and a salesman. And I make a great first impression [most of the time]. I think God is all about using the gifts I do have [and the nagging annoying passionate nature I possess] in the fight against human trafficking. And I'm excited.

Man, this week has been a whirlwind [is that one word or is it hyphenated?].

I quit my job at Red Robin. And I started a new job as an At Home Consultant with The Body Shop [think girlie stuff for nature-loving hippies]. Right now it's all about building up my business and dealing with rejection because, you know, everyone hates a salesman [sorry to be so gender-specific but "salesperson" and "saleswoman" are just too long].

It's cool though. Many things I love put me in line for rejection [Jesus, acting, sales, writing, public-speaking]. I really should get over it. I think that it may be one of those life lessons God is teaching me about right now [at such a time as this].

This week has been full of second guessing myself, depression, thanking God and feeling blessed. It's had extreme highs and lows. I'm over the lows [at the moment]. Yesterday was a high and I wanted to share.

My friend Valerie had a GNO [Girls Night Out - a Body Shop party] for me to help me get my business started. We prepped all day. We bought fantastic food from Trader Joe's and denied ourselves food [because we were so wrapped up in preparing we forgot to eat]. We bonded and giggled and made stupid jokes. We rushed and ran and hurried. The excitement is the best part. We finally finished just as the clock struck 7pm. Our first guest arrived! I was excited and nervous - only a few more minutes and then . . .

. . . no one else came. WTF? She was bummed. And pissed. And she's got a bit of a temper. In the training videos I was told that if I didn't care [that not a lot of people showed up] then the host would be put at ease. And honestly, I didn't care. The friend that had arrived was really chill and I was having fun with them. I just like people.

But, I was pissed for her. Because ten or so people had RSVPed that day and said they would be there. How rude! [a la Stephanie Tanner].

Finally, we were like, "Screw them, let's pamper our feet." It was a foot spa party, by the way. And so, I began and the mood lightened. The spas are really nice and you can't help but relax whilst soaking aching toes.

I had just finished my shpeel and was about to move on to the body butter portion of the evening when lo and behold, another guest showed up.

And then another.

And then two more.

Yeehaw!

Now, I feel compelled to add that one of the guests was a boy [her brother, in fact]. I add this because he absolutely made my night. He was all about a foot spa! Loooved it.

The evening ending up being filled with more giggles and guffaws then the day leading up to it had held. It turned out to be a fabulous debut for me and a welcome treat for everyone involved. I mean, I think, at least. They seemed to like it. I didn't go around asking people if it had been a treat or anything. Whateve.

The point is it was goood. It was real good.

So I know I have written far too much. I only have one more thing to add: I might be going on a pilgrimage [another one of those sacred disciplines] with an amazing group of girls whom I am blessed to have as friends! Sweet, right?

Yeehaw. Praise Jesus.