December 4th

31 Days of Jesus - Beautiful Interruption

Sorry I didn't write earlier. I got an idea yesterday for what I wanted to do today and I got really excited about it. But, then . . . well, today has just been so hard. I decided to hold off on that idea and pick an exercise that I did this afternoon in an act of sheer desperation.

Day 4 - praying for what you need.

I was at this Bible Study in Charlotte about a month ago called the Kiln. We were talking about simplicity and specifically loving God simply. One of the girls mentioned how good and wonderful and okay it is to pray for what you need. It really struck me because I have a tendency to feel guilty if my prayers are focused on me. I feel like I'm being selfish, that I should really be praying for others.

I had what Andrea calls a "mini-meltdown" earlier today. Suddenly and unexpectedly, while on the phone with Jermaine, tears just started streaming down my face. His whole unemployment situation, I feel like it just grinds on me little by little everyday. It wore me down until today I broke.

I felt really fragile all day. School is stressing my out and my back is still hurting [not as much, but it hurts when I sit - so the hour long commute, and sitting for class and homework [the only three things I'm required to do daily] all end up being really uncomfortable]. These things, combined with the stress of Jermaine's unemployment, just had me feeling really vulnerable.

I feel like I'm done. I'm ready to move past this point in our lives. And I feel so helpless. What can I do to help him find a job? It's sort of been all wrong from the start. I've struggled with depression, anger and trust issues with God. I haven't been as supportive of Jermaine's way of doing things as I feel I should be. I know, on some level, that the trials we're facing are really imperative to our spiritual growth, but man, I just don't feel strong enough to go through it anymore. And, what's more, I know God has the ability to give me the strength, but I don't want it. I just this to be over.

I had to go over to our friend's house today. They have been insanely generous to Jermaine and I since both of our cars have been in the shop. We got one of them out today so I was driving over to their house to give them back their vehicle. As I was walking up to their door I just got this feeling - I needed to pray with someone! I'm not strong right now. That much is obvious. I needed someone else to be strong for me for a little while. So when she opened the door I just totally spilled my guts [and interrupted whatever she had been doing at the moment]. I asked if she would pray for me. I don't know her really well, so I guess you could say this was the most intense conversation we'd ever had.

But it was beautiful. And as she prayed for Jermaine and I, her toddler ran around reeking havoc in the living room. I loved it. I was intensely grateful that she would allow my interruption and, I think, she felt blessed to have the opportunity to help me in that way.

So, that's basically it. Jermaine didn't get a job today but I was able to make it through the rest of the day - and that in itself is sort of a miracle. And so, for today, or whenever you read this, take a few moments to access your needs. And then, either with a friend or on your own, lay them out before the Lord. I'm learning how much he cherishes these beautiful interruptions.

Resources:

http://crcc.org
http://24-7prayer.org
http://www.charlotte24-7.com/

December 3rd

31 Days of Jesus: Day 3 - Doing that thing you do, Part I

This idea has been bouncing around in my head for the past couple of days. It's easy to get bogged down by the mundane tasks that make up your average work day. So, the goal for today is to become really aware of Jesus' presence in the boring stuff. Whether you're a stay-at-home mom, a student, a pastor, a receptionist, are currently unemployed or anything in between, make an effort to see God shining through your work. You can do this a number of ways:

¹⁶Be joyful always; ¹⁷pray continually; ¹⁸give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. - 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

• You could pick a bible verse [or a phrase you love] and repeat over and over again in your head [or out loud, if you're feeling spicy]. When I first became a Christian, I was working at a ski shop in Charlotte. I wanted to bring God into my work because it was so easy for me to forget about him [sadly, 5 years later, it still is]. I was overcoming various addictions and mending some of the ways I had messed up my life and I knew that if I didn't remember God's goodness everyday, I could easily slip back into the mistakes of my then very recent past. So, everyday I picked out a bible verse to memorize and repeated all day long. It gave me something to do when we were slow and I was just straightening winter jackets. And it helped me to really focus on my Creator and the opportunity to marvel and ponder whatever verse I was learning.
• You could give endless thanks. It's a theory of mine that a person could begin giving thanks and potentially never run out of things to be grateful for. IE: Thank you for the couch I'm sitting on, that my back doesn't hurt as much anymore, for Ibuprofen, for Blogger, for this blog, for 31 days of Jesus, for friends, for Jermaine, for Sadie, for Sadie's Snowy Splash, that I got to see Cathy and Jeremy and Frankie last weekend, that they took us to a craft fair [especially because Jermaine hates those kinds of things], that my husband is not cheesy, that I am, for Sadie's gift with people, and her gift with math, for Andrea, for the amazing conversations we have, for this new fire she feels to help the people of South Africa, for her desire to go to South Africa [!!], for my amazing Charlotte/Brunswick friends, for my wonderful, loving, generous parents, for their funny quirks, for school, that I'll be graduating soon, for trees, for potatoes, for my favorite hoodie, etc, etc, etc. You get the picture. I literally could go on for hours. Unfortunately, this blog is only supposed to take 15 minutes and we've already blown by the half hour mark.
• You could pray silently for all of the people you encounter today at work [or school, or home]. So, for example, we had to give presentations today in one of my classes. I could have prayed for each student as they went up. I could have prayed for my professor as I was begging her to let me make up some of the assignments I missed. I have a ton of homework - namely two presentations - one on women pastors and one on the United Kingdom. While I'm doing them I can ask God to bless my words. I pray for the UK and for men and women pastors all over the world. You could pray for your future employer, your kids, your co-workers and the customers that will buy the products that your company sells. This is also the type of thing that could go on endlessly. Ooh! And I just had a thought - if you're shopping, you can pray for the people running you over to get to the hot ticket items and for the saleperson who is probably over-worked and underpaid. You can pray for the person/people who made the shirt/toy/game/etc that you're buying.
  

It sounds a bit corny, but basically, whatever you do, do it with Jesus in the forefront of your mind. For me this is one of those heady exercises that tends to make me feel like I'm really living. One of my major goals in life is to figure out everyday what it means to live life to the fullest. So, of course, I love this type of thing. Also, I feel like it can be a Godsend in dealing with conflict. On the other hand, I'm sure you know that committing to do this exercise is a bit like asking for trouble as far as conflict is concerned.

Happy doing! Love you!

December 2nd

Day number 2! - The Welcoming Prayer

My friend, Patsy, introduced me to this practice and it has been incredibly helpful to me.

It's fairly simple [although a bit more involved than doing nothing]. :)

First:

Focus, feel, and sink into
the feelings, emotions, thoughts, sensations,
and commentaries in your body.

Second:

Welcome the Divine Indwelling in the feelings,
emotions, thoughts, commentaries,
or sensations in your body by saying
“Welcome.”

Third:

Let go by repeating the following sentences:

“I let go of the desire for
security, affection, control.”

“I let go of the desire to change
this feeling/sensation." (Contemplative Prayer, Welcoming Prayer Brochure, 2)

So, for example, I'm harboring negative feelings toward a professor of mine. Every day, when it's time to go to that class, I feel my body tensing up.

First, I'll focus on my professor and the way I feel about her. I'll pay special attention to how my body feels. My whole body is locked. My jaw is especially tight and I'm breathing short, shallow breaths. Also, I've become so anxious that my stomach physically hurts. I acknowledge the ways that my body and my mind feel. I'll spend time on each uncomfortable element as if I was sitting with a dear friend.

Second, I'll welcome these sensations [out loud if possible].

"Welcome negative feelings about my professor."
"Welcome tenseness and tightness in my jaw, face, legs and the rest of my body."
"Welcome stomachache."

Third, I let go [again, out loud if possible]. I let go of my desire for security [in this case, the desire to know I'm going to get a decent grade]. I let go of my desire for affection [this professor, I acknowledge, doesn't have to like me]. I let go of my desire to control the situation [it's not the end of the world if I don't pass]. And, finally, I let go of my desire to change the situation [it's also okay that I don't like her].

This may seem counter-intuitive to the way we've been taught to pray. That's part of the reason it's so beautiful. It's easy and simple enough to do practically anywhere. And if you practice it regularly, you'll most likely reap the benefits in your daily life.

For more information about Welcoming Prayer check out The Contemplative Outreach website.

December 1st

31 days of Jesus!

I'm so freaking excited! And I'm so freaking bogged down by my to-do list! But this is the good stuff kids go for. So! Here. We. Go.

Here's the skinny if you have no idea what I'm talking about:

I got this idea a couple of weeks ago. I love Christmas but I always feel like I lose my way a little every season. I forget how much God loves me and that I don't need to prove anything to anyone [not even myself].

I'll be posting simple exercises/activities/ideas that will hopefully help me and you to focus on what matters most. If you have an idea - let me know!

Thank you for doing this with me. I probably love you. :)

ACTIVITY FOR DAY ONE . . .

. . . Do Nothing.

A counselor once asked me when was the last time I sat still with no background noise and did . . . nothing. I couldn't remember. 5 years later, I still can't. And yet, it's one of my favorite ways to unwind. It's such a ridiculously simple concept. But it can be an intense challenge. If you have kids, you may want to wait until they slip off to sleep [or wake up before they do tomorrow morning if you're an early riser]. For 5 minutes or more, sit or lie comfortably. Position yourself in a place with as little noise as possible. Don't try to think of anything in particular, but it's okay to let your mind wander. I think it has a way of clearing itself out.

And that's it. Es todo.

I really put a lot of thought into how to start this month off. In the midst of the busyness - this seems like the perfect way to begin.

And so, yay! Here we go!

PS. It's totally ok if you fall asleep. :)

National pimp your husband day [Extended Version]

It's like one of those carpet sales. It just keeps going and going and going. Or is that the Energizer Bunny?

Anyhow. If you don't understand what I'm talking about, then you should check out the blog I wrote last night.

No big fancy words this time. I thought about copying and pasting the other blog onto this one. But seemed like a waste creative juices. I decided to make a fun picture design blog instead.

Here's a gander at the good stuff of Jermaine [my faves]:

***Baby Oil [Bedtime Version] -- this may be my ultimate favorite - but then again, I'm a sucker for the provocative and tricky. c(:***


***An inconvenient truth . . . [SO cute and horrible and funny!]***


Air when you need us [Welcome to the future of funny]


Furious George [he made this to rep our church Olympic team - we won best dressed!]


I think this is our friend, Amie's, favorite. Actually, it kind of reminds me of her.


THIS ONE IS UP FOR JUDGING AT THREADLESS RIGHT NOW!! Go here and give it a FIVE!! If it gets printed - he'll win $5000 big ones!


I wish wish wish he had more writing samples up online. But, he does have this - he's a total slogan master. Here is some of his best stuff:

"I found God; now I get to hide."

"The road less traveled by is littered with lost poets."

"Bears don't eat porridge; they eat nosy little girls."

"Careful, I learned martial arts from a rat in a bath robe."

"Family comes first. But nothing comes before aardvark."

"I suspect kickboxing was originally just called cheating."

"I don't hold a grudge. I throw it like a deadly spear."

I have an open door policy. Also, I can't find my stereo."

Aaand [Drum roll, please] - THIS one got printed! :)

"Friends actually let friends do lots of stupid things."

You can check 'em all out here. :) And if you can email him at jermainelovesyou@gmail.com.

Happy pimping!

My Beautiful Challenge

This is big. This is real big. And I'm super psyched!

For the past couple weeks/months/years I've been toying with this idea that's been rolling around in my head. Forgive me if I've already mentioned this to you - I have a ridiculously bad memory when it comes to stuff like this.

Basically, I want to start some sort of organization to help victims of human trafficking. I'm thinking, like, real grass-rootsy. The main focus will be on rehabilitation - but we'll start small. A big house, people that have had to endure modern slavery can live there and our organization will help them figure out where to go from here. It'll be small enough that I can tailor the program to fit each person's unique needs. So, for example, one girl is a 18 year old from Ohio who just found out she's pregnant by her abusers. She can't go home for one reason or another. If she decides to keep the baby, she'll need Medicaid and prenatal care and counseling and a Drivers License and to be enrolled in a GED program so she can go on to college. Soon she'll need help finding childcare and money for school, etc, etc. Another girl is a 38 year old from Brazil. She needs a way to get back home - her kids, who are still in Brazil, were kidnapped by a trafficker. She probably needs counseling, too - but right now, what she really needs is a plane ticket and maybe some help in Brazil locating her babies.

This is what it looks like in my head. But, who knows how it will end up. All I know right now is that I have a deep sense that it's a God thing. A couple of weeks ago I was at church during service thinking about this beautiful challenge and my thoughts kept coming to Isaiah 61, I looked it up and what I read blew me away:


¹ The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,

² to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,

³ and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called mighty oaks,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.

⁴ They will rebuild the ancient ruins
and restore the places long devastated;
they will renew the ruined cities
that have been devastated for generations.

⁵ Strangers will shepherd your flocks;
foreigners will work your fields and vineyards.

⁶ And you will be called priests of the LORD,
you will be named ministers of our God.
You will feed on the wealth of nations,
and in their riches you will boast.

⁷ Instead of your shame
you will receive a double portion,
and instead of disgrace
you will rejoice in your inheritance.
And so you will inherit a double portion in your land,
and everlasting joy will be yours.

⁸ "For I, the LORD, love justice;
I hate robbery and wrongdoing.
In my faithfulness I will reward my people
and make an everlasting covenant with them.

⁹ Their descendants will be known among the nations
and their offspring among the peoples.
All who see them will acknowledge
that they are a people the LORD has blessed."

¹⁰ I delight greatly in the LORD;
my soul rejoices in my God.
For he has clothed me with garments of salvation
and arrayed me in a robe of his righteousness,
as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest,
and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.

¹¹ For as the soil makes the sprout come up
and a garden causes seeds to grow,
so the Sovereign LORD will make righteousness
and praise spring up before all nations. [TNIV from BibleGateway.com]

I've been praying and dreaming about a tangible way I can really dive in and help fight slavery and I think God is leading toward that. So, here we go! Phase 1 - The Research Phase. My friends: Jess H. and Priscilla and Mike immediately come to mind because their research skills absolutely dazzle me!

Ooh, speaking of amazingly wonderful people - We sang this song at church this weekend and I'd like to dedicate it to Andrea and Abi and Meghan and Amie and Jess and Jess and Priscilla because it makes me think of you guys and cry. :)

One last thing - calling all people serious about helping to build this dream. So be it!

I am an Athiest

I found this video on Brian McClaren's Blog and it really touched me. Don't have a whole lot of time to write today, but I thought I'd take a moment to put this out there. Thank you for letting me share. (:

PS. Quick To-Do List Blog update [because I'm sure you're on pins and needles, right?]. I did what Andrea suggested and categorized them by Essential and Non-Essential. Guess What! I've crossed off all but three Essentials! They are - my school state stuff, my health insurance application and my budget. And I'm working all three - they could even be done by next week! Yay God!