I always have these thoughts (I call them epiphanies but Jermaine says that's too strong a term). They're mostly insightful things, stuff I feel God leading me to. I get them and I think, 'I'm definitely not sharing this one with anyone.' It feels hokey to talk about them. I'm always saying stuff like, "I think it's a God Thing" or "I feel God leading me toward such and such". It sounds unfathomable. But I do feel it, and I don't know how else to describe it.
And just last night, I had another one. I used to feel compelled to share right away - usually with Jermaine. And let's just say he didn't always share my enthusiasm. It's gotten better. Now, I can sometimes hold off telling people for a whole day.
I had no intention of blogging this - up until I started typing. Let me see . . . where should I start?
I was just rereading some of my old blogs and it occurred to me that I haven't really spoken a lot about what's been going on in my life. I mean, I've written a lot about the stuff I'm doing, but not the emotional backdrop. And I find that odd because it's been such a big deal to me. Hmm, I guess I'll have to back up a bit.
Here's the basic story I find myself in:
Last year - 2009 - was difficult (to say the least). Jermaine got laid off and I didn't take it so well. I was majorly depressed. And I didn't realize it right away. It wasn't until I took on 19 credit hours that it hit me that something was not right. And at that point, there was nothing I could do but flail and work relentlessly to keep up with my horrendous schedule. On top of that, we were dealing with some colossal money problems and as the year came to an end, it dawned on us that our lease was about to be up and we were stuck - we couldn't afford to stay and we couldn't afford to rent another place (unemployment is not considered income and you must have an income to rent).
Around that time I started the whole 31 days of Spiritual Disciplines. It was a God-sent in many ways. Also, some very new friends from our church approached us and asked if we wanted to come live in their house with them. It was such an unexpected miracle!
And, of course, (finally!) the Semester from Hell ended, and I could breathe again. Our money issues had subsided in some ways and, although Jermaine still had not had any luck finding work, I was starting to feel more at peace.
And then, we went to Charlotte for Christmas vacation. An odd series of events led me to an odd series of epiphanies. My friend, Amie, Jermaine, my mom and I all went out for coffee and while we sipped Jermaine explained to Amie what it was he was trying to do musically.
It's hard to flesh out, and I feel I never tell it right, but I'll try anyhow. Basically, he and this guy (his friend, and company partner), Mika, have been working on producing amazing quality music since about 2004. They have evolved over time and they are both incredibly talented. They need artists, and until recently they have not had much luck in that department. But, in the past 6 months or so, they started working with a singer/song-writer (whom they've worked with in the past) - a woman who most definitely matches them talent-wise. They had a song, and I thought it was amazing. But they're all ridiculous perfectionists and so they're entirely reworking it. They're also working on some other stuff - a website, getting radio play, etc. And things are starting to really come together. They're not looking for super-stardom - they just want to be able to make a living doing what they love. And Jermaine believes that God is going to use them in amazing ways. I think so, too.
Like I said, he's telling Amie all this, and afterward, after Amie has left, my mom exclaims how moved she was, listening to him, the way his eyes lit up. This is about the time that I had one of my epiphanies.
Ahhh, but this blog is getting too long. And, I'm sure you have other things to do. So, I'll end on a suspenseful note and finish it later. ;)
(honey nut) Cheerio!
