Random musings

I'm about to watch Throwdown with Bobby Flay on the Food Network. In recent weeks I've really fallen for Bobby Flay. I just want to eat his cooking.

I haven't eaten dinner yet. It's 11pm. I have eaten two bowls of ice cream, tho.

Our wireless keyboard broke and I'm typing on a dwarfed version. It's awkward.

Jermaine just brought home a boatload of bread and a Cornish hen from his mom's house. It's looks like a whole miniature chicken and it's all tied up. It's freaking me out.

My kid's about to go away for a week [tomorrow] and then she's going to be gone for a month [two weeks from tomorrow]. Been doing some hyperventilating about it. That seems about right.

She's been kinda bad lately. She broke my bike, ruined a pillow, took a key and grabbed the burning incense and walked around with it to "get the smell all over the house".

I've been toying with a poem for about a week. This is all I've got so far:

I feel gutted. Cut open.

I'll let you know how it turns out.

I reread my last couple blogs. They seem wordy and long winded. That makes me sad.

Jermaine is annoyed that I'm freaked out by the Cornish hen. But he's being quite wonderful by pulling off some of the meat and putting on a separate plate so it looks less like a skinned animal.

We've been watching the Food Network for the past couple hours. We're really hungry.

I love my dad. He's awesome.

I'm trying to blog everyday. I'm thinking after this one, you might not want me to.

This is my attempt at dry humor. I don't think it's working.

We just ate the hen. Supremely yummy. Jermaine says I'm the only one that says "yummy" these days. And that he appreciates that. But I heard Giada say it. I love her, too. I want invite her over for coffee and chat about life.

There's a chance I watch the Food Network channel too much.

We went on a fantastical nature walk today. Breathtaking. Good God stuff. Jermaine took these pictures.




Happy third week in June.

Party Like it's 1999 [or You Only Graduate from High School Ten Years Ago Once]

[The pictures on the left and below:Class of 1999 reunioning last Saturday]

I almost did it again. I almost just ruined my blog by trying to title it before it was written. The only problem is, now, I don't know what the heck to write about.

It feels like an update blog. With some shout-outs for good measure. I added a couple of blogs to the Blogs I Love. One of my favorite people ever, Amie Furryhill [name has been changed to protect the ridiculous], started a blog. So, of course, it goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway - it's awesome. And not just plain old awesome, but awesome awesome. She has a book list on there that will leave even the most astute reader feeling filled with slack.

And Amie, I think I'm funny, too.

My other new favorite blog - funkyfatgirl.com. My friend Betsy is huh-larious. And the video she posted a couple days ago will make you grin from earlobe to earlobe.

But that's not all. James-Michael, yes, the James-Michael has been promoted from Charlotte Methodist Examiner to National Methodist Examiner.

Yeah, he's that good. My favorite articles so far - the Star Trek one [what can I say, I love me some Star Trek] and the Great Debate articles. Sweet, sweet stuff.

10 year reunion last Saturday. Wow. I'm, like, old. I learned two valuable lessons last weekend. Number One - there are few greater pleasures for me in this world than visiting with or being visited by people I just love. Nothing like it.

Number Two - don't drink and dance. Yikes!

To-Do List

What would it look like to completely complete my overflowing list of things that need to be done? There is always SO much. Is that even a reasonable goal?

I always have one. This lengthy list of stuff I've got to do. And it seems that even on productive days the list never shortens. There is always more to add. On nonproductive days the list flattens me with it's heftiness. I feel sometimes that I will break under it's weight.

But it's summertime. And I'm not planning a wedding this summer. This is the time to relax a bit, not the time to feel overwhelmed. Amie once updated her status on Facebook and she said she was underwhelmed. I'd like to feel that way.

Getting everything done always makes me think of Andrea. She is oh-so on top of things. She's not a procrastinator. Just the opposite, in fact. She's so caught up, she starts tackling a line on her to-do list the moment it appears. Not me. No. I wait until the morning the paper is due to begin the research.

I'm always late. It's sort of my M.O. I'm not a procrastinator. I'm the procrastinator. I've made a college career out of turning things in at the VERY last minute. And it works for me. Most of the time. Sometimes it ruins everything. But that is only sometimes.

Even as I type I know in my head I probably should be getting ready for my noon Zumba class. But what can be done when inspiration strikes?

Dot. Dot. Dot.

Nearly 7 hours have passed since I typed the beginning of this blog. I did make it to Zumba. I was 5 minutes late. 5 minutes didn't ruin everything. Not this time.

But something has changed since I last sat down in front of this computer screen. I am stressed out. Out. I don't know why. There doesn't seem to be a logical reason for it. My whole apartment building seems to be resonating the stress I feel. There was a rather large group of women downstairs when I took my dog for a walk. They were arguing loudly. I saw a cop car. Confusion and anger reigned. Something had apparently gone terribly wrong. The second time I took the dog out I noticed a group of guys walking in a single file line past my door. Soon after, the air was thick with the smell of a certain illegal substance. The least I can say is that they were probably not stressed out. Though they would do well to be paranoid [but probably already were] since they chose to settle on a stoop not far from where I believe a cop [or cops] reside[s].

Typing seems to be soothing me. It's funny. I think my stress may be tied up in the subject of this blog. I've been meaning to get back to it for several hours. Random stuff keeps pulling me away. None of which leads to the crossing off of one line on my to-do list. I wanted to finish this blog so that I could see in big bold letters all that I have to do and what it would look like to do it.

So, without further ado [no pun intended], my list:

• I need to pay my electric bill
• I need to go to the bank
• And to pay rent
• And get caught up on laundry
  
• I need to mail out Mother's Day cards [I know, right?!]
• Of course, now I need to buy and mail out Father's Day cards [anyone know when Father's Day is?]
• My SSN card has my maiden name on it and I'm not eligible for grants or scholarships until I change it so I need to do that
• And once I do, I need to apply for as many scholarships as I can get my hands on
  
• I need to finish registering for classes
• And to fill out some Financial Aid paperwork
• We applied for assistance from the government and I now have to prove that Jermaine is a citizen and round up some papers by the 15th of this month [or they'll cancel the application and I'll have to start all over again]
• I need to apply for health insurance from the government for J and I
• I have to register online to get CPR certified again so I can teach aerobics
• And then, once I do, I need to apply for fitness jobs
• I have a fitness resume [J helped me and it looks fantabulous!] but I need to construct a nonprofit resume [and soon!] so I can send it to Professionals for Nonprofits [who I temped with last year]
• I need to prepare for the last D-Group session
• I REALLY need to write thank you cards for the people who attended our wedding
• I want to revamp my blog and make it more focused on spreading the word and helping victims of human trafficking
• I want to write - I'd like to aim for 1 poem [for performing at open mic nights and such] and 1 article per week [includes submitting articles] -- it must be noted that I've only submitted one article to a professional publication in my entire life - I really want to change that [my friend Nate said he used to say it wasn't a good day unless he 'd received a rejection letter, I'd like to adopt that theory]
• I need to try to change my status at UMD - right now I'm an out-of-state student, I got my Maryland license, now hopefully I will only have to pay in-state tuition
• I'd like to clean my apartment thoroughly and revamp:
• My bedroom
• Sadie's bedroom
• My bathroom
• And I we have acquired a number of pictures that need frames - I would like to find an inexpensive way of framing them so that they can be hung on the wall
  
• I really need to clean out the fridge
• And the kitchen cabinets are a hot mess - they need to be reorganized
• I would also like to buy a few plants for the balcony and work very hard to keep them alive
  
• I'm embarrassed to say that I have about 90 books in my possession that I have not read yet, but want to read - I either need to let them go [which doesn't mean I can't read them [libraries are wonderful places, right?] or seriously buckle down
• I want to do a 90 day blog series where I read the Bible all the way through and blog my thoughts
• I want to research acting for Sadie and see if I can get her an agent
• Also, I believe she's interested in taking guitar lessons, so the necessary research [cost, time, etc] needs to be done
  
• Our dog is beginning to resemble a drowned rat - he would do well with a hair cut
• We need to create a budget and I need to stick to it
• There is talk [among Jermaine and I] of attempting to plan FreeKick again, if we do it would be glorious [and a heck of a lot of work]
  

This is all I can think of for now. I think it's close to everything. It's sickeningly long. Of course, some of this could be eliminated fairly easily. Some of it could be removed with the mere rearrangement of priorities. Perhaps this isn't a blog so much as it is a cry for help. Although I must confess, I'm not sure what it is I'm in need of.

Hmm.

I just reread the list for clarity's sake. It didn't seem as long the second time through. It seemed almost tackleable [I just made up that word, I think].

I feel compelled to add that the preceding list mostly consists of "have to"/ "need to" stuff [with a few exceptions]. There is a whole other list [though it does not take the shape of a list] of "want to" stuff ["want" seems an inadequate verb]. Passions, loved ones and spiritual disciplines find themselves on that list. That is the list [and it may be incorrect grammar to refer to it as a list] of good God stuff that makes me feel full up, like I'm really sucking marrow, if you know what I mean. But, that is a list for another day.

I think the two are connected. In many ways things on the second "list" cannot be attempted until some of the unfun bits of the first are eliminated [I'm also thinking it might be less that the first is crowding out the good God stuff and more that the not-so-good stuff [like watching episodes of Friends I've seen umpteen times and shopping at Target when I really don't need anything] gets in the way of both].

I am what some might call bogged down. Which is much different from being blogged down. And I feel a sense of urgency. Every summer break it goes the same way. I know if I don't get this stuff done it will be that much more of a burden come fall. And still, I wait. I put off.

Well, no more! If God is willing, I pray that I accomplish or toss everything that can be accomplished or tossed from the list before half of the summer is over. And I pray that these things are not replaced with more of the silly stuff. If you feel compelled to pray for me, too, so be it!

I think, I think, I feel a little less stressed. Thank you, as always, for reading my blog.

PS. The photo from the beginning of the blog has very little to do with the to-do list, but is full up with the good God stuff.

PPS. This blog has taken me more than two hours to complete. I must express how much more impressed I am by my friend James-Michael Smith, who now writes for the Charlotte Methodist Examiner and seems to come out with fresh ideas and thoughtful works more than once a day!

Busboys and Poets

[Editor's Note: This blog is not about that - but since my 10 year high school reunion is just around the corner, there will be blogging on the subject of back in the day very soon [and more pictures to come, too!] and so here is yours truly 10 years ago [almost to the day!] on my way to prom. Yes, those are dragons on my dress and I loved them. Almost as much as I loved the lacy lingerieish piece I picked up at a consignment shop to compliment the dragons. I loved the outfit so much that I wore it to two different proms [in my defense they were in two different states - though that still doesn't account for the fascination with dragons at prom [I won't even begin discussing the necklace I wore as a tiara]. James is my date. He was my boyfriend for most of my senior year [and very nice bloke, he was!]]

Ello. It's been a while.

Sigh.

It's the same old story. I don't know where to start. I had 4 blogs in my head 2 weeks ago, the day after I wrote my last blog, but then finals blew up in my face and I didn't get a chance to write any of them. I feel especially bad about one in particular - the overview of the Mobilization to End Poverty, because I told people I was going to blog about it and I hate going back on my word.

Double sigh. Since then, I've forgotten 2 of the 4 blogs I wanted to write and thought of at least 6 more. So, you can see my dilemma. Where the heck do I start?

Hmm. Well, a promise is a promise, and I think I'll keep my promise. But not tonight. I usually try to cram all of the blogs I've been meaning to write into one horrendously long one and I don't really feel like doing that today [I know - thank God, right?]. The other blog I do remember was this: a poem.

I'm diving back into the world of spoken word. I performed at the Montgomery College Poetry Slam a couple of weeks ago. And - I wrote a new poem! I'd been struggling with a nasty bout of writer's block in the poetry realm, so it felt really good to get something fresh down on paper.

I put it out on the world of Facebook, but my mom reads this blog [thanks mom] and she doesn't have a Facebook account [and I figure there may be 2 or 3 other people left in the world who don't either], soooo, here it is: [Word of Caution [for lack of a better word] - It's a little . . . erm, provocative. And it's very "stream of consciousness". It makes a lot more sense when performed live. Also, after I finished, a very nice young man approached me with [I think] the intention of witnessing to me . . .]

A(d)dictionary Christian

I love you. And, I love Jesus.
Are you still listening, or did I lose you?

It's okay, I understand.

This is a poem about a girl embarrassed to be called a Christian because she knows what they're like.

This week has brought me to my knees.
I'm crying . . . inside.
She's dying! Hospitalized.
She won't tell me why
Full of small talk and fake smiles.

I meant what I said! I did, I love you.
I'm not supposed to.
I'm supposed to judge you
And propose how much you need a dose of Good Old Fashioned "Family Values",

Whatever that means.
Squash out the Bad Dreams
Christians are people, too.
They just don't act like it . . .

What does it mean to REALLY live?
To really give ALL of yourself?
To really Love? Let's you And I Suck the marrow out of life, shall we?
Like, just Dive In, and GET IT.

My spirit told the funniest joke the other day,
Something about Life and Depth . . . Get it?

He's hilarious!

Oh! You have an iPhone, too!
I want to get one! But I'm afraid that it will invade my brain and turn it into cat chow.
So, obviously, I'm putting off buying one, for now.

We are a nation of McDonaldization.
The radio station plays my Favorite song.
My two year old just loves it! You may have heard it.
It's called the "Stanky Legg". No?
It's a really good song.

Stifling Creativity
Trifling, She's Kidding Me
Tight Hold, Me Pivoting

Let's go the OTHER way.
This one is way too safe!

Let's . . . end poverty.
I think it'll be fun.

Let's forget about getting skinny and just give our food to hungry people. (:

Let's boycott Starbucks!
No wait! Forget I said that -
My friend just bought me a gift card.

This here is the tale of my inconsistent journey to be . . . consistent.

Man, everybody's going to freak out when the Christians go to hell.

There's an open mic night every Tuesday at this place in DC called Busboys and Poets. I think I'm going to venture out there and work up the nerve to perform. If you want to come with me, let me know and we'll make a night of it!

So, um, usually I begin my blog by picking a title and letting that title dictate the direction of the blog. I did it the other way around, and I rather like it the second way. I didn't know this was the blog inside of me that was most itching to get out, and had I chosen the title [which I thought was going to be More Random Musings], I might have never known.

That is all. Thank you, and good night.

Mobilization to End Poverty: Sunday Kickoff

I'm so exhausted I'm not tired anymore.

The contagious electricity pulsating through M2EP is still inside me, driving me to write this blog, even though my bed is calling out my name.

It'll be very stream of consciousness, though. And I can't guarantee logic or sense of any kind.

What a RIDE.

Oh man. I get to be surrounded by more than a 1000 social activists for 4 days. All walks of life. And God has blessed us with enough foolishness to believe we can do it: we can end poverty.

What a RIDE.

I just finished day two and it was all kinds of good stuff, but I don't want to leave out the amazing Sunday afternoon kick-off and it's too much to cram into one blog, so I'll compromise and get myself a day behind.

Three months ago I didn't know Priscilla, but still, I'm pretty sure we're friends for life, because only a true friend would let me rope her into spending hard earned dough to volunteer at a conference we both knew very little about.

I'm so so glad she's in it with me. Ending poverty is a lot more fun when you have a friend around.

We got to hear Jim Wallis, the President of Sojourners, speak. He's fantastic. And I love the fact that he's a little league coach and he spent the day leading up to the kick-off playing baseball.

I also had the privilege of hearing Congressman John Lewis preach. This guy has been through it. He has! He knew Dr. King. He played a part in the Freedom Rides and participated in sit-ins. Nearly everything out of his mouth was quotable. I scribbled furiously in my notebook throughout the whole affair. Here are a few of my favorites:

"I asked my mom and my grandparents and the rest of my family, 'why segregation?' And they said, 'That's the way it is, John. Don't you go and get in trouble.' But, let me tell you, I was inspired to get in trouble! I was inspired to get in the way!"

"What does it profit a great nation to gain the whole world, and lose her soul?"

He told a story of being in his aunt's house, a kind he called a "shot-gun" house. And a storm came and it was so bad they thought the house was going to blow away. And his aunt gathered his cousins and brothers and sisters and they huddled together and stayed in the house so that it would remain intact. He exclaimed to us, "We never left the house! Brothers and sisters, we must never leave the house." We must keep America, keep the people, keep the environment from blowing away.

I want to tell you about the phenomenal choir from Howard University, and the inspiring testimony of Rev. Darren Ferguson, who obtained his Masters Degree in prison.

I want to. But I am done, I think. And I would not do them justice.

Quick cool thing: God's Politics, the Sojourners blog will dive into the details I missed, complete with pictures and videos. My funny face even made it into a few shots. And this blog offers a little shout out to Priscilla and me [and lots of super spectacular volunteers and scholars]!

Better blogs to come, scouts honor.

G'night.

Pimping People: Part 2

It's been a long day of mostly nothing. It's not gone well, though. It's not gone well.

Lots of little things. A stupid fight with Jermaine. A provoking professor that just keeps going a little too far. Unexpected [and unwelcome] knowledge that we owe American University another $13,000. A call from my kid at 4pm - a mix-up with the sitter meant that she never got picked up. And then, to top it off, they gave us the wrong kind of meat in our Chalupa at Taco Bell.

I suppose I could add "getting a Chalupa at Taco Bell when we're flat broke".

I'm spent. In more ways than one. I want to go outside and get some fresh air. I hope I do, I think it would be good for boosting morale.

Before I wander off, though, I thought I'd take a moment to boost some other people's morale. Pimping in the purest sense of the word.

You might have noticed, if you've visited my blog before, that I've decorated it for Spring. I've also added some things. I am now a friend of the Emergent Village. This is the third time today I've added a link to that site. And for some reason, that gives me great pleasure.

I've also added some websites on the left that make me very happy. I've added a link to Jermaine's profile on Threadless. Now everyone go there right now and hype him up so he can win some money and we can throw it at the bill collectors.

I'm not sure if this is a shameless plug [or outright bragging] but, God forgive me, I've decided to mention it, anyway. I'm attending this conference in a couple weeks, which is hosted by Sojourners, called the Mobilization to End Poverty. I'd explain what it's about, but I fear it's too difficult to understand. It's going to be pretty wicked, though. You should go, if you want to be as cool as me [in which case you'd be thrice as cool as the 87,000th coolest person on the planet].

You may have also noticed that I added a couple more blogs to my "blogs I love" list [or you may have had better things to do than to check daily to see if I've updated my blog list [I do not, however, have better things to do and so I check hourly]].

A kind of love. is not the latest track by Enigma Records, but rather, a fabulous new interior design blog by my friend Priscilla. You should check it out, she's quite inspirational.

My lovely friend Jess has just recently updated her blog with a beautiful true story about her adventures with the Justice Project. I can't think of anything funny to say about it, so I'll just clamp up and move on.

A little pimp for me: I'm trying to bring traffic to my blog. If you feel so inclined, you would absolutely make my day if you were to become a follower of my blog. The benefit of following me: I'll have to go first down the big scary holes.

An upcoming bloggeriffic event: I'm going to blog the Bible! It's a bit of a copycat adventure, with a twist. David Plotz, editor of Slate Magazine, recently wrote the Good Book, a book inspired by his column in Slate, in which he blogged the entire Hebrew Bible. The real draw has to do with the fact that when it comes to the Bible, Plotz is a novice. I really want to read this book. I planned on buying it at a discount online before I started my Bible blogging adventure, but, unfortunately, we have to stick to the essentials for now, so it'll have to wait.

My blog will be a little different. I have a book called The Bible in 90 Days. So, the plan is, I guess, pretty self explanatory. I'm going to read what it tells me to read each day, and then blog my thoughts in the evenings. It will be similar to Mr. Plotz's undertaking, with some differences: 1) I am not the editor of an amazing online magazine [although, if a job opens up . . . ] 2) He blogged the Hebrew Bible [what some Christians call the Old Testament], I will be blogging both the Old and the New 3) He is a Jewish man and I am a Christian gal 4) He started his project because he realized that he hadn't read much of his Bible [especially the scary bits] and I am starting because I have read some of the scary bits and would like to explore them further [and hopefully generate some interesting conversations in the process].

I am going to try a contact him before I begin. I would like to attempt to get a go ahead, since he is the source of my inspiration for the project.

I have to go! I've been trying to finish this blog for a half an hour! I was going to complain about how our dear young dog is refusing flat out to be potty trained - but no there is no time!

Oh, wait, I just did.

PS. I am a Harry Potter convert!! Go Gryffindor!
PPS. I just finished book 4. Please don't spoil the ending by leaving a well-intended but not-helpful message. I will cry.

Peter's Journal: Sunday and Monday

My worst nightmare has turned into the best dream I could have never imagined!

I am overwhelmed with gratitude and love!

What kind of God is this I serve? What kind of God conceives of such a magnificent and terrifying plan of redemption?

I saw Him!! I actually SAW Jesus! He's alive! He's bloody alive!!!!!!!!!

I don't know what to do with this information - except to shout and sing and laugh and cry and dance a jig.

He forgave me! He did! After all I did, He still calls me His beloved follower.

He asked me if I loved Him. He asked so many times. I guess that's understandable, considering the way I behaved. I said I did, and He said, "Feed my sheep."

I am so ready to do that! I am so ready to love and forgive the way I have received those things! I am so ready to get up every day for the rest of my life and think, 'what can I do for the kingdom of God today?'

I feel like I could explode! Haha! I'm so happy! I'm so thankful! This plan - honestly, I don't understand every bit of it. But I know, deep down in my bones, that if Jesus can conquer death, then ANYTHING is possible. Anything!!

I look around - everywhere I look, stuff is absolutely shining! Everything has this amazing new Jesus-luster. It's so beautiful. So, so beautiful.

I didn't get it! None of us did. He told us - he did - several times! We were so oblivious. I kind of wish I had been the one to have gotten it, but only a little. I'm sort of relishing in this humble joy-filled state He's put me in.

Oh! What a glorious, wonderful, spectacular day! Oh! What glorious, wonderful spectacular days to come! He said [or rather eluded to the fact] that I may have to die a horrible death. You know what? I don't care!! Haha, I don't care! He conquers ALL! He does! And He'll be with me, through it all - even if I can't see Him - I'll know He's there - loving me, forgiving my foolish mistakes.

Oh, praise God for Jesus! Oh praise God!