Saturday, September 20, 2008

Write or Wrong [I heart playing on words].

Editor's Note: The first 4 paragraphs were written while this blog was still called "Brandywine's World."

This Just In - Jermaine taught Sadie to ride her bike without training wheels!!! That is definitely worth multiple exclamation marks.

This used to come so easily. To pour out my heart into cyberspace felt so natural and . . . and . . . some other word that would have just "come to me" to make my writing appear witty and lithe.

I am struggling at the moment to think of a new title for this blog. I loathe it's current name. What was I thinking while I typed it and so hastily hit it the "confirm" button? It almost seems too late to change it. People have linked my blog with theirs. To change it now might put the entire system in an uproar.

Okay, that may be a bit of an overstatement. And even more than that, it's egotistical [which, I am learning, I am full up with].

Change is good [sometimes] but, as with anything else, it has it's consequences. Regardless, I'm changing my name.

Well, I have already, actually. The name did not come until a few sentences in. So, the first part of this blog will remain nameless. And confusing, as at this point even I don't know what I'm talking about.

Jermaine thought of it. I am not grateful. I am full of resentment. I wanted to think of it. My professor in my Women's Literature class droned on and on one period about how men have all the power because they name all the stuff. The act of naming, she concluded, was, in part, a demonstration in taking back the power that the evil men have enjoyed so greedily all these years.

I mean, whateve. I just wanted the credit. I like to one up him. It helps me with my self-esteem.

Alas, he won this one. But I am way prettier, so there.

What am I talking about? Well, I believe, since my last entry was so heady and er, depressing, I am merely trying to lighten things up with some silliness.

But, you know, I can't not write a conclusion of sorts. I am feeling better, you may have guessed. I have been planning on writing for quite sometime. I tried more than once, tho even with words piled to the ceiling of my brain, I wasn't successful. They simply refused to arrange themselves in any sort of meaningful order.

Until today, and I thank God that they did. It is our Sabbath. And even with a few kinks, our best to date; filled with a few of our favorite things. For myself: reading, writing and french toast. For Jermaine: Music, a wife in high spirits [except for about a half an hour when I moped rather dramatically about not being financially able to go to the Renaissance Festival], and oatmeal cookies. And for Sadie: a step-dad happily obliging to teach her the art of riding a bike with only two wheels and friendly neighbors who always have their door open welcoming her to play [and additionally speak very minimal English and therefore never correct her grammar [or her bad British accent [no explanation, sorry]].

I did not know that this blog would not come until this lazy Saturday afternoon. But, I am very excited that it has. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your prayers. I have felt what I can only describe as being "lifted up." I know that is not my doing, and I am so grateful.

God is teaching me about some very wonderful things these days. I feel compelled to ask for prayer again. Tho, I am hesitant. So many people have needs much greater than mine.

True as that may be, I still must ask. Because it helps me to pray. Because prayer is so essential. And because I want to. But, I want to add, with the utmost sincerity, that I would very much like to pray for you, too. Whether you know me well, not at all, or somewhere in between. And you can comment or email your request [whichever you prefer].

Here are my cries to God:

  • for consistency -
  1. In not practicing gluttony
  2. In going to class
  3. In finishing projects that I start
  4. In saving and spending wisely
  • for financial matters in general [and for a clear direction to pursue] - in my head swirls all kinds of ideas of money making and money saving and I don't know which path[s] to take:
  1. Getting a job
  2. Moving out of our apartment and perhaps into a more communal situation
  3. Applying for government aid
  • a 24-7 prayer movement within my church
  • that I get all of the wedding thank you cards out very very soon
  • oh, and Praise God that Sadie learned to ride her bike - watching her truly made my week!
That's all I can really think of at the moment. Thank you.

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