Things I Want to Write About

[Editor's Note: Sadie took this picture with my phone and a mirror "so that you can remember me with it, mommy."]

I don't think I get writer's block. I think I get too much stuff in my head. Like a clog. It's not that I can't think of anything to write about. It's that I just listened to a sermon in which Rob Bell talks about forgiveness and a couple of blogs ago [I think] I talked about these one or two people that I thought I had forgiven but now it seems that my unforgiveness is biting me in the ass.

Or that I'm reading the Blue Parakeet and I've just gotten to the good part [in my mind] about women in church ministries and it totally warms my heart and I feel absolutely blessed to be alive for "such a time as this."

Or my dog. I love him SO much. And there was a time when I was an absolute failure as a pet owner. And so a couple of years ago I made the decision not to have anymore pets until I was sure I could be good to the animal(s). Getting Sebastian has been rewarding and emotional. I honestly feel like a good dog parent now. And he loves us. (:

Or this cliché but insightful book about the supposed four personalities of women that I started last night [A Woman's Guide to Personality Types by Donna Partow]. They are:

• Popular - Footloose and fancy free, loud in every way, messy, loves to be center of attention
• Powerful - Dominating and controling, bossy, really good at getting the job done
• Perfect - Neat, meticulous housekeeper, detail-oriented, frugal, a place for everything and everything in it's place
• Peaceful - Kind, caring, comforting, nurturer, thoughtful, loyal, peace-maker
  

So I took the little evaluation and apparently I'm this unnatural combination of Popular and Perfect. Which sounds a lot better than it is. :P According to Ms. Partow, I'm either a footloose and fancy free attention hog who learned at some point in life that she needed to try do everything perfectly. Or that I'm a little miss perfect type who ended up taking on the role of the popular chick. I think it's definitely the first of these two options, if this book holds any water. And I don't know if it does, but it's got me thinking that perhaps I'm not being the person God made me to be.

Growing up, I was sort of know as the laid-back one in my family. So much so, that, as you may be aware, I went off the deep end looking for a good time. When I finally cleaned up my act I began to equate getting stuff done and doing it right [like my parents do] with being a good Christian. Eventually I realized that my thinking was a little off, [and I believe it was making me judgmental - a trait that I don't think comes naturally for me]. Unfortunately realizing that I'm wrong and going back to correct the behavior are two different things. And I didn't do the latter.

So, I guess, time for another soul-searching session.

I have other things on my mind too. I want to update my to-do list blog. And I want to create a summer "bucket list" [fun things I want to do before the summer kicks the bucket]. But, ah, I guess, those last lengthy paragraphs decided for me what I should write about. Hmm, I like the freedom of not having a title because it lets me know what I'm thinking about. But I think I also don't mind having a title from the get-go. It keeps me focused. And God knows I need focus. c(: