Getting My Mind Right

Editor's Note: A second [unnecessary] attempt to explain myself. Written in the month of Love 2008.

I'm going to have one more go at this [I think]. Bear with me [or bare with me, if you really want to get crazy].

I'm not there [my whiny voice].

I'm so conflicted. I'm fit. I want to enjoy this time. And the dress fits [and looks great]. I know, we've had this discussion. Why would I want to lose anymore weight [J says it's not about the number and I know it's not, but that's the best way I know to judge my progress]?

And there are many more important things than losing the last ten pounds [in my life and in the world]. I have had serious thoughts of truly throwing in the towel. But see, that's the thing - I wouldn't be ceasing to lose in order to better myself, I would be giving up. There are plenty of legitimate reasons for not continuing towards my goal weight but they are not my reasons.

Okay, so blah blah blah. I'll stop explaining myself.

I really want to do this. I'm so freaking close. There is something that can be good and pure about finishing something you started. And I'm convinced it's a God thing, because the only way I'll be able to pull it off is through some intensive prayer. 1050 calories is taxing mentally. I think I've got about a month [before dress alterations need to be finalized and I need to be where I'm going to be size-wise].

So here's the plan:

One day at a time
Plan out my meals for each day
Record intake on this blog
Prayer time each day - making sure my focus is not primarily on me
1-2 hours of exercise 6 days a week
1 day of fasting a week [tentative]
Aim for being there by mid-April

I haven't decided whether to start tomorrow morning or Saturday. I'll let you know.

Thanks, by the way, for reading this. It means a lot to me.